Church Bulletin Bloomers
These are actual clippings from church newspapers. It's amazing what
a little proof-reading would've prevented.
   _________________
Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at The Calvary Memorial Church in Racine.
Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
   _________________
 Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING
Conference:
"The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."
  ___________________
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the school 
recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
_____________________
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a 
conflict.
   ___________________
The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water" The sermon tonight will be:  
"Searching for Jesus"
   _____________________
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. 
They need all the help they can get.
   ______________________
The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing 
"Break Forth into Joy."
   ______________________
Don't let worry kill you - let the Church help.
   _______________________
 Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So 
ends a friendship that began in their school days.
   ___________________
 At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?"
 Come early and listen to our choir practice.
_______________________
The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoy sinning to 
join the choir.
   _______________________
Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles, and other items to be
recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
   ______________________
Attend this meeting and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy 
lunch.
  _________________________
This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across
from the Church.  Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
   _______________________
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the
Church basement on Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this 
tragedy.
   _____________________
 Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
6017